My mom was Dorothy M. Brown and my dad was Charles A. Brown. My mom was from Red Hook, NY and born November 13, 1931; and died March 20, 1999 in Tempe, AZ. My dad was born in Pawtucket, RI on February 9, 1929; and died November 10, 1998 in Saugerties, NY. Yes, they died just 4 months and 10 days apart, both from heart disease...

My mom was very fond of researching her own geneology and for years sought the link that would allow her access to the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). A month before her death one of her cousins contacted us to let us know he had indeed found the link that would provide her membership to the DAR. However, my mom had Alzheimers so severely we never enrolled her with the DAR. My mom was a great artist, tho not professionally..., I believe this is where I found my own artistic abilities; tho I tend to persue Abstract Expressionalism, while my mom enjoyed Still Life. My mom also instilled my love of Writing and reading in me at a very young age; as I was was well adapted before entering kindegarten. Also my mom was married prior to my dad to a US Navy veteran named Robert Rifenburgh, a long time native of Rhinebeck, NY and together they had two daughters: Fawn and Loni and one son: Wayne. These are my half-sisters and half-brother.

My dad was an oustanding intelligent gentleman with a vast depth for compassion, strength, and humor. My dad graduated from LaSalle Academy in Providence, RI; then attended Providence College for 2 years as a Pre-Med student on a scholarship he won as a result of winning 1st Place in a Science Fair at LaSalle. Unfortunately at the time his family couldn't provide the ongoing funds for him to complete college at that time, so he entered the US Navy as a Radio Operator on a Destroyer Escort during the Korean War. Later he joined the ranks of IBM out of Newport, RI and was transferred to the Kingston, NY plant in 1956 or 1957. My dad then met my mom who was by then divorced and they married in 1963; a year later I was born. My dad retired from IBM in the 1990's with over 30 years under his belt. During the 1980 he graduated from UCCC with an Associate's in Psychology with a perfect 4.0 GPA, then went on to SUNY New Paltz and graduated Suma Cum Laude in Psychology as well. After retiring from IBM he volunteered his time with the Office of the Aging and also worked part time teaching Safe Driving and DWI courses for DMV. During his time with IBM he worked with the US Army in Huntsville, Al on some ballistic missle project; also with NASA in Houston on the Apollo missions; and with the US Navy out in Newport, RI on the first trident nuclear submarine. My dad..., was wicked kewl!!! He was a musician, playing piano. He gave me my love of music at a very early age. He encouraged my love of music but he did tend to try and steer me into the piano instead of the drums which I started playing at 4yrs old after an encounter with a 4 pc Slingerland jazz kit of my uncle's in RI. Dad was also extremely interested in Parapsychology and Dream Analysis and NLP. As a child he tried to instill mathematics in me and a love of the sciences... It worked but not as strongly as my desire for music.

Why am I writing so much about my mom and dad in my introduction? Because my parents are the ones who shaped me into who I am today. My childhood was strange..., my parents, while they both loved me unconditionally, they never loved eachother that same way... For whatever reason, they just fought like cat and dog... Perhaps the fact that my mom was a Scorpio and my dad was an Aquarius didn;t help! LOL But some of those fights were not just verbal but physical as well. Too many times I found myself huddled in a corner crying and scared; or in the arms of my half-sister Loni who was 8 years older then I. Some of these memories I have buried deep in my past, trying to keep them from ever resurfacing again...

For whatever reason I'm not entirely sure, but I found myself at about 4 years old wanting to be a girl, dressing in girls clothes. Yes I was born a boy and not a girl. I'm now a non-op transsexual and have been living and working full time as a girl for many years, with my name legally changed to Stacilynn... And yes my sister Loni had her hand in dressing me up as a lil girl too, but she only did this on occassion. I, myself persued the enchanting calling of the feminine spirit on my own... During the early years I wasn;t admonished by my mom or dad about dressing up as a girl. however as I approached puberty that changed. My mom became quite ugly in her verbal assaults on me when I not only admitted my preference to be a girl full time but begged her to please help me fulfill this journey I sought. My dad just seemed to allow me to explore, tho I couild tell he wished I were a normal son. He tried spending more time with me doing the father/son activities to no avail... Then at 12 years old my breasts began developing; first with my nipples swelling, then the actual breast tissue developing. I forget how it came out to my parents but off I went to the local doctor; a German Meninite (similar to the Amish)... Dr. Wenger, the old man who only wore bow ties! LOL He was a great person tho, he never once made me feel like a freak... In my teens during my attempts to runaway or commit suicide he would try to understand and talk to me about my confusion. Anyways... he knew I needed to see a specialist and off I went to the Albany Medical Center for a battery of tests and eventual injections that were given by the local doctor, the Meneite! I never saw the results from the tests..., also I was sent to one shrink after another... Once a shrink saw no real harm in me developing as a girl or my passion to fulfill my journey I would be sent to yet another shrink...

Finally 18 yrs old came and with it my freedom..., but what freedom was it? One I chose or one that would live up to the expectations of those around me.... Before I had a chance to experiment with which path to journey down I was involved in a near deadly accident a month before I was to turn 19. I remember I was hanging out with my best friend Diana Detschel at her house (a place where I spent much of my teen years escaping the torment of being a girl in a boy's body). We were getting high and drinking with some other friends, when someone got the brilliant idea to go for a car ride and go visit our manager at the McDonald's where we all worked at the time. So off we went, piling into a rebuilt Peugot. Diana in teh front with Frank Regerrio driving and me and Rich Metcalf in the back... How this kid Rich ended up hanging with us I'll never know... Rich was a jock, while the rest of us were the partiers... Anyways, it was rainy and leaves on the ground as it was autumn... Frank got impatient and just had to pass the 2 cars in front of us in a very bad spot on the roadway... I remember threatening Frank I'd kick his ass if he passed these cars cuz I knew we wouldn;t make it... WE DIDN'T!!! Approximately 90mph off a 40 foot cliff!!! Somehow I got ejected from the car AND I had my seatbelt on! But at that speed I'm not suprised that it failed to hold in me in the car... Anyways we all ended up in the hospital... That's when I ended up meeting Anna Lisa... my friend Brian Sawchuck came to vist me with his girlfriend... Anna Lisa.. I fell in love with that girl at first sight.... They ended up breaking up, he gave me her phone number, I called, stayed friends for a year while I never stopped loving her and eventually one day we took a chance and started a relationship... She was at Havard University at the time, then transferred to Wesleyan university. Anna Lisa was pretty and intelligent, but a bit of a bitch... my music meant nothing to her and she wanted me to either get a degree or go in the military... I ended up in the US Navy. LOL

Now Anna Lisa knew all about how I wanted to be a girl..., and she even signed my high school yearbook: "Don't Rip Your Fishnets Girlie!". But when it came to her and I in a relationship she couldn;t be associated with me unless I was all man for her... Another suicide attempt.... eventually we went our seperate ways... She's now a leading OB/GYN specialist in Oncology.

Somewhere along the line I decided it was time for me to live MY life. And so I did, with the help of another best friend, who was also a roomate of mine a few times..., Laurie Kuriplach... She's still my best friend to this day! She's more like that of a sister then a friend... The kind of sister I always wanted. Laurie, a former model knew how to help a boy become a girl between her fashion sense and makeup knowledge! Also she is such a sweet person, such a wonderful feminine spirit! I always have looked up to this girl and wanted to be just like her; and I think I'm finally starting to acheive that goal...

Anyways here I am today living in sunny Arizona with my current girlfriend and fiance..., Arlene... She's 12 yrs older then me, but she doeasn;t act it! She's my first real experience in true love! We've been engaged now for 11 months. We originally met on teh Internet in 1994. We finally met in person and have been living together now since March of last year! She too is from NY. Arlene is from NYC tho in the Bronx. She was born March 3, 1953. Arlene is also big into music! Recently Arlene and I have become the proud parents of Midnight: a black 4 month old half German Shepard and half Chow puppy dog!

I know this introduction has been somewhat lengthy and yet also somewhat abbreviated..., but thank you for spending your time with me! Have a look thru the web site at pics of us, and Midnight; pics of our adventures..., fav links..., occasional writings... ENJOY! Peace & Love....

---Stacilynn